Flirting

Innocent flirting is a way of expressing desire without actually doing anything about it. As such, it is one of our most genteel sports, not to mention low in fat and easily digestible. I know this because when I was young and has an ambition to become a pastor, my sunday school friends taught me how to flirt. And flirting is safe because it is impossible to pin down. It's noncommital, No one can positively sure it's taking place.

"I don't know. I think she was flirting. Yeah, that was definitely flirting. I think it was.."

One thing to remember: there's a big difference between flirting and actually hitting on someone. Flirting is like dancing around the subject. Hitting is like stepping on its toes. In other words, You're hitting on a woman until she flirts back. Flirting has to go two ways, A woman has to realise what you are doing and give you the raised eyebrow and welcoming smile. To have successfully flirt means you haven't annoyed anybody. It's just my theory anyway.

One of my most memorable flirting experiences happened when I took an evening course in the city. I watched one of my classmate who came out of the class wearing an incredible red cashmere sweater. Her hair was magnificent. She was so lovely I almost fell down. They say women dress for themselves, but clearly she was trying to impress her boyfriend outside at Mc Donalds (a bloke who looks like Lionel Richie minus the teeth). But this guy just looked at her and said "you got any beer?" The look on her face.. Her spirits just plummeted. She didn't even ask how she looked.

"You looked really great" I said, stepping up to the plate. Sensitive man that I am, I had spotted the problem immediately and wanted to cheer her up. My reward was a gorgeous smile, half a lip lick and eyes that looked at me in a new way.

I'd known her for a long time after that and frankly, we'd never acted if we'd found the other remotely attractive. But whenever we find time, in library or in the music stores across the college, it was suddenly fun to toy with the untapped energy between us. Besides, she started it. She was doing a little dance an inch from my fingertips. And not long afterwards we started to say very provocative stuff in our ears.

Later, when she'd finally dumped her putz boyfriend, she asked me straight out if I wanted to sleep with her.

I decline, I wasn't going to fell for that routine.

She insisted, I resisted, she demanded, I gave in.

That night, all I heard from her was "When I said I wanted us to sleep together, I meant really sleep"

She slept. I was awake. Staring at the ceiling. Counting holes in the acoustic tile. Do you know how many holes are there in an eleven by twelve acoustic-tile ceiling? Two million seven hundred thousand and thirty three...